My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
