A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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