Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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