I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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