Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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