some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
