is your mom at the bar?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she smelled like a LAN party
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
