I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
