I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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