Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
