Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
