careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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