Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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