If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
a search helicopter?!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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