Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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