People with herpes should wear stickers.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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