You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize