im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Watching her eat just hurts me
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize