dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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