as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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