She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
