I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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