Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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