Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
