She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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