I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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