You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
