apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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