Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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