even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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