Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
