I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
