I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
