That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
