Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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