is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
