is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
