That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
