She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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