marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
