redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
