Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
