i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
