don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
