Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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