i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
