After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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