Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
