Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
