ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i just had sex bonerless
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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