Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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