just come out here and I will go home with you...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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