I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
