Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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