you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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