he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Randomize
