I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
