Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
