Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Sext me about skeletons
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
