the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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