he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
