Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
