Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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