I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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