It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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