it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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