I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
